Chorley Girl

Attention Pedestrians (of, um, Blacktown)

2011-01-12T21:23:00.002+11:00

High and low across our great land from one end of this wide earth to another, one will sure enough be confronted with many instances of what can be described in one way as a long, rigid, often smooth, charcoal coloured expanse of area covering the land. This area can vary in appearance from one location to another whether it be long and straight or bendy and loopy. In many cases this hardened, greyed area will be marked with distinguishing white and sometimes yellow stripes. It can be paved or it can be be made from gravel. It could be covered by a layer of asphalt or even cement. Regardless of it’s construction, this expanse is called, a Road.

Ever since it’s birth, the road has typically been the natural habitat of conveyances; from the horse and cart to the bicycle to the more commonly known automobile of today. The automobile is a moody, wily, beast. It can be controlled and it can be obedient but without warning it can turn, and can become wildly unstable and unpredictable. It is true that grave danger is never too far away when the automobile is near.

One must have their wits about them when in close proximity of an active automobile. While many of its roads have been bred to include what is referred to as a “footpath” or “sidewalk” and are regularly used by pedestrians such as yourselves, sufficient safety precautions must be implemented at all times prior to venturing into the natural habitat of such a precarious creature. Countless examples throughout history show us that failure to comply with minimum safety requirements may result in a gruesome and untimely demise.

So for fuck’s sake, stop. Look left. Look right. Cross when safe. Comprende?

*sorry for the french grandma!!*

Help Wanted

2010-12-01T20:51:00.002+11:00

OK so this isn't exactly a blog entry, more a rant born of sheer frustration and indecision. I'm sat here on the train tapping all of this into an iPhone app (yes I am that frustrated) and I need to share. Maybe thoughts that you come up with won't be as clouded as mine? One can only try.

I am surrounded by incompetence & negativity. Few people seem to have the ability to think for themselves and have no idea what it means to work with even the slightest sense of urgency. The same handful of people are constantly & consistently relied upon to get the job done, to think outside the square, to be the proactive and positive ones, yet it's these very people who are close to burn-out because of it. The example we are endeavouring to lead by, is slowly but surely killing us.

I don't think I enjoy my job anymore. What was once a welcome & intriguing challenge, something I could enjoy sinking my teeth into and get a strange but pleasing satisfaction from, is now a royal pain in the arse. I seem to have nothing but 'bad days' over and over.

I pour most of my waking life into my job and I work damned hard at what I do. But it doesn't stop the complaints rolling in. It doesn't stop the negativity. Nobody is satisfied or happy with the service they receive anymore, despite how much effort you put in.

So what do you do?

Do you finally decide that you've stuck it out long enough and that you've done your utmost best so it's ok to call it quits and move on? Or is that giving up?

Or, do you stick with it and see it through? And if so, until when? For what purpose?

I don't know if I could move on yet because of all the effort I have put in to date. A (sick) part of me needs to stay to observe when things finally start to fall into place effortlessly and accurately (surely that day is out there?). I need to see that happen to feel a sense of accomplishment without regret. I think.

On the other hand, to move on would (surely) mean the end of stress to the enth degree (as I currently know it), no more 12 hour days, no more for granted being taken. But it would also put an end to the years of hard work I have put in, establishing myself. An end to some very productive working relationships and yeah it would also mean stepping outside my comfort zone again to find me another job. To start again. Meh.

Any of you fortune tellers? Seriously?

Masquerading Men

2009-05-17T11:53:00.005+10:00

I have a bit of a personally puzzling predicament and maybe you can help me understand a couple of things. Recent experience has reinforced for me, the idea that all is really not as it seems. Particularly where men are concerned. Fear not, I am not yet crazy enough to bundle all men into the same category, I know there are some good un’s out there (most are members of my family), but a good deal of them it seems are out there confidently masquerading as something that they are not.

Great efforts are gone to, to convince you of their good standing. To assure you that they have the qualities you seek. To show you just how suited they are to you. Time goes by and initial doubts or fears you might have had, are replaced with reassurance and belief in the person you have chosen to be with. This is bound to happen given enough time regardless if you have a particularly convincing masquerader and even if you have the emotional security of Fort Knox.

My question is, given the fact that often significant time is spent getting to know a person... a potential mate, how can you be sure that the information you are collecting, is valid, whole and unequivocal? How do you know that it is safe to accept the data and crank it up to the next level, without leaving yourself wide open for a world of hurt? How can you be certain that your trust has been genuinely earned and that you can safely bestow it upon another person? Is it necessary to request that a potential mate provide a medical history, criminal record and pass a lie detector test before any exchange of personal data commences? How can a negative experience with a remarkably talented masquerader prevent you from turning bitter and punishing yourself and future suitors?

OK so this is more than just one question, but it’s my blog, my prerogative.

Clearly I have one or two issues... ahem... questions roaming my noggin at present but here’s your chance to help me! Seriously, what are your thoughts on this? What do you do? What advice do you have for me?

Bye lil Bill

2009-04-23T22:59:00.011+10:00

~ Rest in Peace - Bill Dog - 15/10/95-23/04/09 ~

Bill dog was gorgeous. He was a Maltese Terrier who had a look of his own. He wore his fur short, scruffy and minus the pretty (but admittedly tacky) bow seen on many other Maltese breeds - he had originality did our Bill.

From a puppy it was clear that Billy had a craving for relaxation that bordered on addiction. He could, and would, flop almost anywhere, in any position and always managed to look more comfy than if he had been smooshed onto a pile of soft, warm, down. He could fall asleep sitting up such were his narcoleptic tendencies, but of course he loved nothing more than snuggling up on your lap or in the warm crook of your arm. He would softly murmur in his sometimes wheezy sometimes snore-like sounds. If you gently squeezed him he sounded like a muted Accordion. His doggy snoring always brought a smile to my face and melted my heart. I love that creature so damn much I would often almost have to physically restrain myself from crushing his soft, warm, little head.

He loved Skink hunting. He would spend hours in the backyard sun frolicking about with only one goal in mind - catching a mighty Skink. He would trot around the garden then suddenly freeze... stare... ears drop forward & twitch at what he thought were Skink sounds. His eyes would be wide and alert with excitement and anticipation. Then he would dive at the wall or the bbq or the watering can, scratching his claws on the concrete as if trying to dig his way to his target. Rarely did he actually snare a Skink but when he did he’d fling them up in the air, watch them drop then grab them again and repeat. All the while his tail would wag playfully.

So many memories flood my mind right now. He brought us so much laughter and amusement and many, many times he helped ease my emotional pain. No matter what mood I was in, a cuddle with Billiam, looking into his curious black eyes, never ceased to lighten my mood. He would look at you in a way that would ooze love and adoration making it impossible to feel like crap for long. I even loved his deathly smelling breath, gross as it may seem, but it was Bill through and through... he loved me warts and all and I returned that devotion with fervor.

In his final moments tonight he drew in a breath then let out a sigh that was thick with the sound of release. He relaxed and allowed his eyes to droop lazily, an action that I found surprisingly comforting. We stroked his fur and whispered reassuring sounds for him while we quietly said goodbyes between tears. Our boy is now free. He will be missed dearly every day but our memories of him will never fade... he will forever leave a paw print on our hearts.

Goodbye my little man, I love you ridiculously xxx

My First Time

2009-04-21T14:33:00.009+10:00

Not unlike a shy, innocent and awkward teenage girl before her “first time”, I too am a mixed bag of nervous excitement. My mind is chock-full of anticipation, expectation and questions… How do I do it? Will I be good? What if I am disappointing? Will I be laughed at? Is that a good thing? Will it hurt? Endless questions are buzzing through my head but I realize the only real way to answer said questions is to take the plunge. Participate in a form of exposure therapy, you know, diffuse ones fears and all that. So, I did it. I registered for my own BlogSpot and now, as I type, I am posting my first blog. Yes of course that’s what I’ve been waffling about… what did you think?!

Now that it’s clear that this is my first ever blog post, I hope your expectations aren’t too high. I could do without the extra pressure. In saying that though, I do hope that you may come to enjoy the gobbledygook I will try to inflict upon you. If you don’t, by all means tell me why – otherwise how else would I know where I could potentially improve… if I cared of course. *grin*

Those who know me, family in particular, will know that I have recently commenced an online Creative Writing course. It is the first step I have taken to unleash the best-selling author that I hope and dream is within me. I like to write, it soothes me. I often communicate better with the written word than I do the spoken word. It gives me time to think about what I want to say, how I want to say it and when I want to say it. It allows me to cover all the points I might miss if I were talking to you. Some may call this a brain defect, and to those people I would say… you are entitled to your opinion. Most importantly though, writing is just something I like to do and I want to practice it. Hence the course. Hence the blog.

Please, if you care to take the time, have a read of my feeble offerings as and when I present them. Feel free to comment. Do you like what you read? Do you see errors? Can you see where I can improve? Do you have topic suggestions? Is your favourite colour blue? Anything you want. I really do want to hear from you!

*slinks off out of site biting nails; somewhat relieved, somewhat petrified*